I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
