Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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