Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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