I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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