I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
