new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
