Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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