you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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