Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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