I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
