eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
