Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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