During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
