Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
