is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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