You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
