Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
