dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
