I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
