He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
