i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
