I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
