i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize