Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
