I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
