how can u be prego again
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
