We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
