I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
