I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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