i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize