New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
