Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
