on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
