He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wish there were birth control emojis
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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