My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize