I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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