I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
