I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it glows. i had to have it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
