You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
