He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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