I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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