if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
