took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦â€
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
