I heard we made out
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize