I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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