I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize