some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
