I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
