Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
