It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
