Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
