I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
