Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
