Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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