like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize