last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize