my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
