Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
