so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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