wake up i wanna do it froggy style
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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