Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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