I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i now understand why vodka
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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