He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
