Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
