Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize