Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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