R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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