Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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