I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize