every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
