This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
