I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
