Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
