i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
