he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
