I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
be right there i have to get my cape
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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